Archive | June, 2010

E-Mail Addiction

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In my humble opinion one of the worst things that ever happened to the separation of work and personal life was mobile e-mail. I was lying in bed the other night when I realized that my wife and I were both e-mailing from our I-Phones before saying good night and turning out the lights. Are you kidding me? 

On a recent trip to Canada I had the data roaming feature turned off on my phone. I found I was actually one if the 56% of people who became anxious over not being able to check my e-mail continually during the trip. E-mail addiction is out of control and if you don’t believe me check out the stats below that I collected from lifestyle author Tim Ferris’ blog site

66% of people read email seven days a week and expect to receive a response the same day [18]

61% continue to check email while on vacation [19]

56% have anxiety if they can’t access email [20]

“Crackberry” was the official winner of the 2006 Word-of-the-Year as selected by the editorial staff of Webster’s New World College Dictionary. Blackberry addiction has been labeled “similar to drugs” in a study performed by Rutgers University; millions of users are now able unable to go more than five minutes without checking e-mail. 

According to online surveys of more than 4,000 people, conducted jointly by AOL and the Opinion Research Corporation and reported in 2005: 

41% of Americans check e-mail first thing in the morning 

  • 18% check e-mail right after dinner
  • 14% check e-mail right when they get home from work
  • 14% check e-mail right before they go to bed
  • 40% have checked their e-mail in the middle of the night

More than one in four (26%) say they can’t go more than two to three days without checking email, and they check it everywhere: 

  • In bed – 23%
  • In class – 12%
  • In business meetings – 8%
  • At the beach or pool – 6%
  • In the bathroom – 4%
  • While driving – 4%
  • In church – 1%

Being “e-mailed” (like blackmailed) worse than being stoned? 

In 2005, a psychiatrist at King’s College in London administered IQ tests to three groups: the first did nothing but perform the IQ test, the second was distracted by e-mail and ringing phones and the third was stoned on marijuana. Not surprisingly, the first group did better than the other two by an average of 10 points. The e-mailers, on the other hands, did worse than the smokers by an average of 6 points [21]

Wow, pretty scary stuff. Considering I am as guilty as most of the people in the surveys cited above I have no room to give advice on this one other than to say I am going to take action. Starting today I am turning off my data feature at night and not turning it back on until the following morning. In the words of the famous television campaigns I plan to “just say no!” 

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Chuck Terry is the Executive Vice President and CSO of Carew International and is regular contributor to Carew’s blog – Executive Insights  

Carew International is a leader in sales training and leadership development; specializing in comprehensive, proven training programs for sales, sales management and customer service excellence. For over 30 years, Carew has earned its reputation of delivering increased productivity and profitability to our valued clients world wide.

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Perception is Reality

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Every good magician relies on the tactic of perception becoming reality. You perceive magic has occurred so, for the purposes of the audience and magician, it has. Albert Einstein was quoted as saying that “Reality is an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

I would contend that the number one enemy of effective interpersonal communication is the failure to understand the “perceived reality” of the other party in any conversation. We tend to assume that the “reality” we are experiencing is the same “reality” as the other person in any conversation without even questioning that assumption.

Here are a few causes of “reality disconnect” and some suggestions on how to avoid them.

1)      Poor Listening- In the blog “Top Three Reasons for Failure to Communicate” I covered this topic in greater detail. When we can understand a conversation at a rate of speech in excess of 600 words per minute it sets up a bit of a dilemma when most people talk at a rate of about 150 to 175 words per minute. It makes active listening much more difficult and we tend to jump to conclusions about what the other party is saying due to our impatience with the pace of listening. I suggested some tricks to help you to stay engaged in the blog referenced above but the bottom line is, stay focused on the conversation and don’t allow your mind to wander.

2)      Familiarity- One huge cause of “reality disconnect” is familiarity. The better you know the other party in a conversation the greater the likelihood is that you will just assume you know EXACTLY what they are talking about. Have you ever found yourself finishing the sentences of your wife or significant other? Sometimes you may correctly assume you know what they are saying but you may be completely wrong about what they MEAN. Dictionaries define words but the people using them assign them meaning. The only way to make sure your familiarity is not causing you to miss their unique meaning is to ASK!

3)      Your Personal Communication Filters- Everyone hears and experiences everything that happens to them through their own set of filters. We begin shaping those filters when we are very young based upon fears, biases, needs, values, past experiences and numerous other factors. If you don’t believe me listen to two children recount the situation that led to a disagreement and you will be amazed that you are even listening to a description of the same event! We tend to experience our conversations, and what is being said, through our own set of “operating reality filters” and often completely miss the point of the other party in a conversation as a direct result. The best way to avoid this problem is to simply remember that it exists, and then make sure to ask a question or two to clarify what is being said from the “operating reality” of the other party. I wrote about this phenomenon in greater detail in the blog “What Are Your Odds?”

In the movie Casino, the Robert De Niro character Ace Rothstein had a great line, “Listen to me very carefully. There are three ways of doing things around here: the right way, the wrong way, or the way that I do it. Do you understand?” In any interpersonal communication it is always imperative to understand what that “third way” is for the other person. That is where their meaning lies and that is the perception of reality you need to understand in order to have more productive communications.

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Chuck Terry is the Executive Vice President and CSO of Carew International and is regular contributor to Carew’s blog – Executive Insights

Carew International is a leader in sales training and leadership development; specializing in comprehensive, proven training programs for sales, sales management and customer service excellence. For over 30 years, Carew has earned its reputation of delivering increased productivity and profitability to our valued clients world wide.

Leave a Comment
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