Top Three Reasons for “Failure to Communicate”

In the 1967 movie Cool Hand Luke, reprobate inmate Paul Newman spoke the now famous line, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.”  Although made famous in the cinema the phrase is also an apt description of far too many failed business exchanges.

Here is a list of the three most commons causes for “Failure to Communicate” in business and suggestions on how to avoid them.

1.)    Assuming we know what the other party is saying-  At my company, Carew international, we have a term for this phenomenon that we call being in your own “Odds Are”. This is a reference to our research that indicates that the odds are two to one that in any conversation we will be listening to what is said through our own set of filters. We will experience what we THOUGHT we heard and have a “self centered” reaction versus an “other centered” response.  Said another way, what we think we are hearing may be more about how we think it will impact us rather than how it is actually intended by the other party. The best antidote for this condition is to employ active listening. Although easier said than done, try asking some questions to clarify the other person’s intent before responding. Even if you think you know what the other party means, avoid responding until you clarify with a question or two.

2.)    Spending more time talking than listening- This communication misfire picks up right where the last one left off.  You learn more by listening than by talking and, if you are like many of us, you would probably be surprised how much time you actually spend talking. We typically audio tape the role plays of sale people in our training programs as they practice asking questions to uncover the customer’s needs. It is a revelation when many of them listen to the tapes and discover that they spent most of the five minute EXPLORATORY call role play actually talking instead of listening. One of the great ways to break this habit is to do exactly what I just described. Try taping some of your conversations with clients.

3.)    Spending time thinking of what you are going to say next instead of listening- This is a dangerous subset of cause number two. Have you ever been “listening” to someone else when, suddenly, they ask you a question and you realize you weren’t ACTUALLY paying attention to what was being said? What you were probably doing was thinking about what you were going to say next. There are numerous reasons for us drifting off while others are speaking and none of them are good ones! A great trick for helping to stay engaged is to try to anticipate what is going to be the next word spoken by the other party. It helps keep you engaged and in the moment.

I could keep going with this list but I think you see the obvious pattern of where this is headed. The main reason we don’t communicate more effectively in business is that we simply don’t listen more and talk less. In order to become a more effective communicator the key is balance between listening and speaking. A saying that is particularly appropriate as a rule of thumb is “you have two ears and only one mouth, use them in that proportion.”

Chuck Terry is the Executive Vice President and CSO of Carew International and is regular contributor to Carew’s blog – Executive Insights

Carew International is a leader in sales training and leadership development; specializing in comprehensive, proven training programs for sales, sales management and customer service excellence. For over 30 years, Carew has earned its reputation of delivering increased productivity and profitability to our valued clients world wide.