While in Quebec with my family for the world famous Tournoi De Quebec Pee Wee, the Mecca for twelve year old hockey players, I saw a perfect example of life imitating art or business in this case. My son’s team was playing a team from the Eastern United States (who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty) and the game ended with two different twelve year old boys being thrown out of the game. Trash talking, intentional attempts to injure other players, poor sportsmanship, it was all on display in this game. I was embarrassed for the other team until I listened to some of their parents in the stands and it became apparent that the fruit didn’t fall far from the tree.
As adults we are setting examples for our kids to follow with all of our actions, all of the time. I like to win as much, or more, than just about anyone I know but certainly not at any cost. The shabby behavior at the hockey game got me to thinking about how we deal with each other in business. How does this type of “win at any cost” attitude, displayed at a youth sporting event, manifest itself in business?
At my company, Carew international, we have developed several courses designed to teach business people how to negotiate deals more effectively. At the heart of our approach to negotiating is a concept called “Quid Pro Quo”, Latin for “something for something”. We use it as a term to describe what is often referred to as a “win/win” deal where neither party leaves the negotiating table feeling like they didn’t receive fair and equal value for what was exchanged. In a “Quid Pro Quo” negotiation every concession is exchanged for something that has value to offset every concession that is given.
In the world we live in today so many of the deals that I see being negotiated are much like the hockey game I described above. Someone is going to win and someone is going to lose. If someone gets their knees taken out, who cares as long as we win in the end? Both parties are doing their best to find the ultimate leverage point where they can gain the upper hand and “win” at the bargaining table. There are many problems with this approach to negotiating; chief among them is the fact that such a deal will never survive for the long term. The party that ends up on the bottom will not be happy and, eventually, will want out of the agreement. I hear companies say to each other that they want to be in a “partnership” and then promptly try to beat each other up in the negotiating phase of striking an agreement. That is certainly no way to begin a mutually beneficial partnership.
Here are a few key points to consider so that you don’t end up negotiating “win at any cost” agreements.
1) Understand the other persons true needs: If you can come to a mutual understanding as to what the true needs of both parties are early in the process it is much easier to end up with a “Quid Pro Quo” type of contract. Making sure that both parties are getting those needs met will ensure that you are striking a durable contract which both parties can live with long term. If your exchanges of concessions allow these true needs to remain intact, you will always achieve a better outcome.
2) Get something of value for each concession you make: This is the core principle of “Quid Pro Quo”. Too often, in “win/lose” type negotiations, one party ends up conceding and the other party ends up receiving the concession just to “get the deal done”. If you are prepared to offer a concession, get something of value in return. If you are lowering your price, get some sort of additional volume commitment, etc. If you concede without receiving value in return, the other party will assign the same value to your concession…none!
3) Don’t get wrapped up in tactics: Many people you will negotiate with have been trained to negotiate using specific tactical approaches. These tactics are all based upon manipulation and come in many varieties from the “oh, by the way” approach to the “nibbler” approach. The best way to deal with these types of tactics is to recognize them for what they are, nothing more than a tactic. Keep your focus on negotiating a “Quid Pro Quo” agreement and take a break from the negotiating if you feel yourself starting to get caught up in a tactic that is moving you away from negotiating a “win/win” agreement.
There you have a few key points for negotiating strong agreements just in case you end up in a negotiation with some of the hockey parents I described above. If you clearly understand your “walk away” point, you clearly understand both parties’ true needs, and you are sincerely committed to negotiating a fair agreement, things will usually work out for the mutual benefit of everyone involved. In hockey there is a winner and a loser but in business relationships both sides can, and should, end up as winners.
Chuck Terry is the Executive Vice President and CSO of Carew International and is regular contributor to Carew’s blog – Executive Insights
Carew International is a leader in sales training and leadership development; specializing in comprehensive, proven training programs for sales, sales management and customer service excellence. For over 30 years, Carew has earned its reputation of delivering increased productivity and profitability to our valued clients world wide.
